It's My Dog's World: I Just Live In It

It's Your Stupid Car and Stupider Cell Phone's World: My Dog and I Are Just Trying To Not Get Run Over In It

Sigh.

This morning: I'm crossing the street in Hoboken, at rush hour.  Lady in a car, with her cell phone to her ear, makes a wide left turn without signaling, nearly hits me.  I shout: "Turn signal."  She shouts: "Shut up."   Awesome!  You're breaking two laws at the SAME time, and you're yelling at me!

I didn't happen to be walking Faith at the time, but I usually am when these things happen.  So far, my dog and I have made it across the road without getting killed. But eventually, somebody in this town, maybe somebody with a dog, or a baby, or a dog and a baby, or somebody old, or somebody with a hearing or vision impairment, is going to be mowed down by one of these chatty, non-signaling morons.  And I hope the driver gets exactly what he or she deserves.   I hope an angry mob yanks the offending driver out of the car, then rips the cell phone  out of the driver's hand and beats him senseless with it. 

Lady with a cell phone, I know you think you're a good driver.  But you're not.  As the  young kids say, you suck. And I"m not alone in my assessment.  According to brain specialist Dr. John Medina, you're driving drunk.

Listen here:

I actually have a solution to this problem, which will actually kill two lawbreaking birds in our financially challenged Hoboken with one stone, but it will have to wait until tomorrow. 

Feminist Web Metrics for Dummies...with a D Cup, a Bottle of Beer, and a Tax-Evading Cameraman

Perhaps you check your stats and referrers the way I do...at least once a day, sometimes, well, more.  Over and over, I noticed that the one entry that gets hit over and over.  It's called "The Master's Tools Will Never Dismantle the Master's House," and it's one of my broodier ones on how feminism is NOT one size fits all. Why did people keep going to it?  I mean, it's...broody.  And feminist.

And then I realized I had included the magic words, the miracle phrase that probably ranks right up there with Miley (Legally Changed Her Name, But Didn't Understand About That Topless Thing) Cyrus.

Girls. Gone. Wild.

Dear (Spelling-Challenged) (Self-Important) Fashion-Oriented Website....

When you are explaining to me what Soho used to be like, before it became a dizzying, awful, yet sometimes pleasant! mall, please do not tell me that Keith "Harring" used to live there, or I will crush your skull with a Radiant Baby.

Keith Haring would be 50 this year. We should throw a party in an abandoned subway station.